I wish I knew the author of this great quote, but I simply haven't got a clue. Nonetheless, it's beautiful.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Tears of Happiness
I wish I knew the author of this great quote, but I simply haven't got a clue. Nonetheless, it's beautiful.
Life is Hard, But So Very Beautiful!
Life is hard. Sometimes very hard. But it's amazingly beautiful as well. If you open your eyes, and your heart, you'll find there's beauty in just about everything. Many of those moments, words, or experiences that hold immense beauty to me, cannot be captured in an image or a photograph.
For instance, the sound of a child laughing.
Nonetheless, it's important to notice these moments, capture them mentally (and if you can, physically), and remember them when the "hard" in life is overwhelming. These are photos that are beautiful to me. Please feel free to share any images or thoughts of beauty you have! La Belle Vie!!
This Moment is All You Have: Be Present
Throughout my travels and my life, one of the prominent themes that I'm constantly aware of, is that here in America, we (many, but not all of us) rarely sit comfortably in the present moment. One of my favorite memories of Italy is sitting outside and actually enjoying my cappuccinos!
Where’s the Gratitude These Days??
Okay, so a couple of months back, I embarked on a new “blogging regimen” if you will. Every Monday, I would write about what I was grateful for in the previous week. I started this exercise right as I was beginning my second-to-last quarter of graduate school and my last 600 hours of practicum/residency. I was expecting it to me a crazy, hectic, stressful experience at the time, -and it was/has been!
Here is an excerpt from my first Weekly Gratitude explaining my deeper thoughts and purpose for sharing my gratitude:
In the mist of my panic over the major changes beginning in my life today, I’ve realized
Thank you for the Beautiful Blogger Award and The Very Inspiring Blogger Award
The Beautiful Blogger Award
Almost three months back, I received The Beautiful Blogger Award from MeaningfulWesternLife,and The Very Inspiring Blog Award from Make Believe Boutique. Despite my major delay in giving thanks, and passing this special award onto other great bloggers, I was, and still am thrilled to have received it. Better late than never right?
So let me just start by saying, THANK YOU, MeaningfulWesternLife, who writes about cultivating joy and meaning in a western society lifestyle, for thinking of me when sharing this award. Your blog was one of the first that I ever began reading and your words have been very inspirational, and meaningful to me. And THANK YOU Make Believe Boutique, who describes herself as a quiet and reflective artist, who continually seeks to understand the aesthetics of authenticity through gratitude, service, curiosity, creativity, beauty, and compassion.I have always enjoyed reading many of the simple, yet incredibly beautiful and enlightening post she has shared. She inspiring and the peaceful character which her words carry with them have always touch me.
Please take the time to check out both MeaningfulWesternLife and Make Believe Boutique as well as the wonderful blogs nominated below. Stop in, say hello, congratulate them, and let you heart be touched. Thank you again for the awards!
Weekly Gratitude: Tiny Pleasures from Nature and Friendship
This past week busy, busy, busy! I hardly had a moment to rest. But it was a very productive week nonetheless.
As a part of my commitment to self-care I tried very hard to make a conscious effort to give myself some time to just chill and do things for my own enjoyment. Making time for myself made a world of difference in my mood and ability to cope. I certainly hope to make a commitment to this new habit that almost always go to the back burner.
This past week, there were three moments/experiences that stood out in my mind as moments to be thankful for.
1.) On Wednesday, I was beyond exhausted. I worked from 8:30-12:00 at my job, then met with a client for my internship, and then I had two hours to myself before I had to go back to work till 8:30 for my internship. I was soo tired, and soo not in the mood to go back for another shift. I decided to go for a bike ride for 40 minutes before I had to go back to work. It was my first of the season, and it was soo beautiful outside. I probably got half a mile from my house when I got a phone call from my internship. I let it go to voicemail as I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. A few minutes later listen to the voicemail from one of my supervisors:
“Hi Nina, I just wanted to let you know that you don’t need to come in tonight if you don’t want to. We’re overstaffed”.
YES!! That is exactly what I needed to hear. I spent about an hour and a half out on the bike trail after that. It was so peaceful, so calm. The sound of the frogs croaking in the marsh, the birds chirping, the sound of the waves on the lake hitting the shore, seeing the flowers beginning to bloom, -it was all so unbelievably beautiful. I’m very grateful I got the night off. I needed it, and it was great.
2.) I’m thankful for Miss KathleenMae. She and I have never met, but have become “friends” through this little blogging world. We share a similar zest for life, and relate very well to each other in many ways. This past week, she wrote a post about me that was so sweet and kind. She discussed similar feelings about meeting new people on opposite sides of the world, yet cultivating a connection through these unique blogging communities. Blogging truly has enhanced my life in a way I never could have comprehended. I am thankful Kathleen has come into my life; for her kind words, her new friendship, and her comments of support.
3.) Finally, I am thankful for my boyfriend David who took me rock climbing yesterday. I’m a bit competitive, and consider myself fairly athletic, so I was really looking forward to it. I’ve only been once before, but it was nothing like the experience I had yesterday. First, I must say, I’m VERY afraid of heights! I really wasn’t sure how I was going to do it! It took me about fifteen minutes to feel comfortable on the wall and get past the height of it. I would climb ten feet and then go down; then fifteen feet, and then go down, then twenty, and so on. Eventually, my nerves calmed enough where I stopped feeling like I was about to cry.
Long story short, I did very well and I really enjoyed it. I chalk it up to my childhood years climbing trees. But the most wonderful part about it was that I wasn’t thinking about anything else the whole time. Even though it was physically exhausting, and I had to keep thinking about where I was going to move next, my mind was relaxed. There was a sense of clarity and calm that I have only experienced a few times my entire life. I’m someone who struggles constantly to be in the present moment. It’s so difficult for me. I’m always thinking about what I need to do next, how much time I have left of xyz, what things still need to get done, and so on, and so on. But for that hour and a half, I don’t think I thought about anything. It was wonderful. It was so needed. Ironically, I left feeling the same way I do after getting a massage.
So thank you David, for introducing me to something where I can shut down my mind and “just be”. I’m very excited to go again soon!!!
9 Fears that Keep Us from Achieving Our Dreams and Purpose In Life
There is no better place for growth then when we face our fears. Take the leap and see what happens. If you constantly hide behind your shadow, and stand stagnent paralized by your fears, you'll never know all that you can acheive and where your fears might take you.
____________________________________________
9 Fears that Keep us from Achieving our Dreams and Purpose in Life
This post is shared courtesy of Purposefairy.com
“If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?” Confucius
What is a F.E.A.R. and where does it originate? We are afraid of so many things and because of that, so many of us, -instead of moving forward in life, stagnate or move backwards. This is not how life should be lived, -in fear and stress.
There are many fears that we all might experience, and from all of these fears, I have chosen to focus on the ones I found to be the most present in life.
1. Fear of Letting Go. We fear letting go of familiar places. We fear letting go of relationships that no longer serve us. We fear letting go of who we once were, -of our past, and we cling to all of these things, thoughts, beliefs and ideas, without realizing that the past is gone forever and all that we will ever have is this very present moment.
If we choose to constantly think about what once was, we miss out on what is happening in our lives in this very moment, we miss out on life period. You need to learn how to let go of the things that no longer serve you and allow yourself to be free of fear and free of stress.
“Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don’t allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Your life is like a play with several acts. Some of the characters who enter have short roles to play, others, much longer. But all are necessary, otherwise they wouldn’t be in the play. Embrace them all, and move on to the next act.” Wayne Dyer
2. Fear of Change. If we manage to let go, what will happen then? This is a question that haunts many of us. Fear of change scares us so badly. Where will we go, what will we do? Are we going to be safe? What will happen to us?
We have this incredibly powerful fear of change and fear of the unknown that paralyzes us, not understanding that if we keep on doing the things that we’ve always done and if we keep on living in the familiar without leaving our comfort zone, we will always end up in the same situations. There will be no movement, no growth. Trust yourself. Learn to listen to your heart and intuition and know that the life you want wants you.
3. Fear of Failure. If we embrace change, what if we will meet with failure and defeat? Who will we be then and what will our lives look like? This fear of failure keeps so many of us from moving forward in life, from going out there and trying new things. Often, even though we are not happy with where we are and what we do, we would rather stay in our comfort zone than do something different, -something new, just because we have this fear of failure haunting us, and we can’t see that “The only real failure in life is the failure to try.”
4. Fear of Being Different. You want to be normal right? You want to be like everybody else. Why be different? This is not a healthy approach to life. Constantly trying to please everybody around you and forgetting about the person who matters the most, and that is YOU, will bring so much unhappiness upon you.
You don’t want to be like everybody else. You want to be YOU! You want to be true to yourself, and if that implies you being different from those around you, -so be it!
Keep in mind that: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss
5. Fear of Unleashing Our Hidden Potential. Whether you believe it or not, this fear actually keeps us even farther away from making our dreams come true, from going out there and sharing with the world our amazing gifts and talents.
This is because, whether we consciously realize it or not, the exposure and responsibilities that will surface once we unleash our potential scare us. We want to move forwards, at least consciously we think we do, but deep down in our subconscious mind we keep the foot on the brakes. You have no idea how much power the subconscious mind has and how, even though we say we want something, we get stuck because of what is hidden in our subconscious mind.
6. Fear of Not Being Able to Live Up to Other People’s Expectations, especially when you are constantly seeking approval from those around you in order to feel good about yourself, to feel that you are worthy, and to feel validated.
Whenever this fear knocks on your door, keep this in mind: “You are always a valuable, worthwhile human being, not because anybody says so, not because you’re successful, not because you make a lot of money, but because you decide to believe it and for no other reason.” Wayne Dyer
7. Fear of Being Lonely. Nobody wants to be lonely, especially when you can’t stand the person you are alone with, and you and I know that there are plenty of us in this situation. We come to this world alone, and we will depart alone. When you get to a point where you have accepted yourself completely, where you have learned to love and nurture the person you are deep down inside, you will never feel lonely again because you will now enjoy your company, and believe me, others will too.
8. Fear of Losing a Loved One. It’s hard to lose somebody you love. I don’t know how many people can actually deal with the thought of losing a loved one without feeling sad and blue. It’s a normal fear. But if we start appreciating these people more, expressing our gratitude for their presence in our lives while they are still here, when the time comes for them to leave this world, it will be a lot easier for us and we will not have to suffer as much.
Instead of using your time worrying about this, and fearing it, you can use that time to show them how much you love them, and confess this love to them. It will do you and them so much good. Try it and see what happens.
9. Fear of Dying. Oh my, this is another one, and I have to say, a very powerful and delicate one. We fear death for we have no idea what will happen afterwards, and if you think about it, it’s a lot like the fear of the unknown.
”The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.” Albert Einstein
It doesn’t really matter what religion we believe in, whether we have one or not, or what our thoughts and beliefs regarding death are, for this does not keep us from having a fear of dying. When the time comes, we will all have to leave this beautiful Earth, but until that day, let’s just enjoy our time here, shall we? Don’t you think it is a better idea than spending your time worrying about it?
The Answer to The Chaos Became a Quiet Holy Mantra
Be still. Be still. Be still...
“…Learn to silence the chattering of your ego, whether through prayer, meditation, or a long walk in the park. Find that place where you can detach from the pressures of the world. Find that place where your body and spirit work together in harmony…You don’t need the right car, the right shoes, the right girlfriend to be complete. All you really need is to be yourself. Your spirit is the real you. Let it guide you…Be still. Listen to your spirit say, I am, and I am enough. In the silence, you’ll hear God…”
Although I align myself with beliefs that are more spiritual rather than religious and prefer using the term "universe" instead of God, this quote is simply beautiful no matter what higher power (or lack there of) you accept.
Find the place inside yourself where you can be still and just "be". This is a place of acceptance, peace, and calm. In life, the constant chatter of the ego can be deafening and yet unnoticed at the same time. That is, without being conscious of the chatter of the ego, the ever-constant chatter of life becomes your “self”. However, when you can be still, when you can detach from the ego, what is unveiled is You, -in harmony, in calm, at peace.
Weekly Gratitude: The Harder I Tried to Be Grateful, The Less I Was!
Last week I started writing this "Weekly Gratitude", post to keep my spirits up as my life quickly got crazy, to keep my mind focused on what matters most, and hopefully (both fingers crossed!) help myself let go a little and relax! But all week I ended up struggling to figure out what I have to be grateful for, or at least that were worthy enough to write about. The harder I tried, the less I felt grateful. Writing this post became more of a chore that needed to be done perfectly, rather than a tool to help me reflect and relax a little. As I whined about this post to a friend, he said, "Nina, just be thankful that you're even able to juggle your schedule right now". Isn't that the truth...
So here's the rundown on my crazy life (of course this is subjective) that I keep mentioning. As of last Monday, I’m in the last stretch of my internship for my MS in mental health counseling. I have to complete 600 hours in two 10-week quarters, or 30 hours a week. And if I don’t complete the 300 hours in the first ten weeks, I fail and have to start back at zero! No pressure, no pressure. Thankfully, I can count hours during my three-week break, which makes the second quarter a little less daunting. On top of this, I have class to coincide with the internship.
And then, there’s work, work. Roughly 20-25 hours a week. What do I do you ask? I take care of babies! Love, Love, LOVE IT! But that doesn’t mean there aren’t moments when I want to pull my hair out!
Currently, I’m juggling fours family:
Family 1: Two girls, not quite 2.5 and 6 months.
Family 2: Two girls, 3.5 and 18 months.
My new additions….
Family 3: Twin boys, 11 months.
Family 4: Twins, boy and a girl, 20 months.
To all of you mothers out there:
WHAT YOU DO IS WORK! IT IS THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD! YOU DESERVE A SIX-FIGURE SALARY!
So yes, I am thankful that I am able to juggle my schedule right now. However, I’m also thankful that I’m even in school and that I’ve been able to remain self-employed, with a flexible schedule while in school. To top it off, I’m thankful that not only are my families AMAZING and flexible with my schedule, their kids are WONDERFUL and a joy to care for!
Additionally, this week I am thankful for the following:
♦ That Saturday, my one day off, Mother Nature was good to me, and gave me a beautiful, sunny, 75-degree day, in a week full of cold and rain (it was 35 in Minnesota today. What?!). That’s really all I wanted on Saturday, and I got it, so I can’t complain there.
♦ I am also thankful for Readability , one of the coolest apps ever! If you love to read, you will love this!! Do you constantly bookmark articles, blogs, etc. on your phone/computer to read later but hate the clutter it creates? You need to download this! It takes anything you want saved, formats it more clearly so you can read it without all the advertisements and junk, and saves it for you in the app, or computer. My FAVORITE part however, is that it sinks with not only my computer and my phone, but it send everything to my Kindle as well. LOVE! I’m sure I’m the last person to start using these kinds of helpful utilities, but I am SO excited I had to mention it!
♦ Finally, I must thank cravesadventure,one of my followers, for reminding me of how lucky I am to have my hearing. I posted a video in the post Music is What Feelings Sound Like: A Beautiful Video of Music Changing the Mind of Old Man about the power of music and essentially how amazing and magical it can be. cravesadventure commented and stated, “After reading your post I am grateful and thankful for my hearing”. I’m embarrassed that I never thought of it that way. But yes, considering how important music is in my life, and that I can’t imagine a life without it, I too am immensely thankful for my hearing!
May you have a week of small pleasures and enjoyment that leave you thankful for each moment in your life.
Music is What Feelings Sound Like: A Beautiful Video of Music Changing the Mind of Old Man
The function of music is to release us from the
tyranny of conscious thought
~Sir Thomas Beecham
Music has always touched me in an emotional way. The musical gene runs in my family, and run through my blood. Music has simply always had a way with me. I feel it, and comprehend it in a way I cannot express fully with words; it's just natural, I just get it. It’s not my many years of classical piano training. It’s something more. Music has the ability to reach me deep within my mind and soul. Frankly, I cannot image a world without music. Life without any artistic expression would simply be dark.
Anger of the Mind is Poison to the Soul
Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it
~Seneca
g
About two weeks ago, I was out with a friend for dinner. We had a nice meal, discussed our days, and then I headed home to pack for my trip to Trinidad. On my way home driving through downtown Minneapolis, I spotted a bicyclist a little ways ahead me. He was swerving between lanes, biking in the car lane rather than the designated bike lane clearly marked to the right of me, and seemed to be oblivious to other cars on the road. As the distance between us grew smaller, and I was coming up behind him, I began wondering what direction he was planning on going when we reached the red light up ahead. Was he going to make a right hand turn at the light like I was planning to do?
My Authentic Experience in New York – The Beginning of the Rest of My Life [A Shared Story]
Authenticity is something I strive for everyday. I’ve become incredibly conscious of my thoughts, behaviors and my feelings in recent months, and I believe much of this is due my growing self-acceptance (perhaps not 100%. -I’m still working on it!), and allowing myself to “just be” rather than trying to be what others would find appealing. Making the transition to authenticity required me to be self-aware to a degree I had never practiced before. It has been hard work, but completely and totally worth it in the end. The lack of consciousness I carried with me previously, caused me to be driven more-often-than-not by my ego, which is completely based on external factors. The ego is a reflection of what others think; it is fallacious.
9 Ways to Positively Influence Your Health and Happiness [A Reblog courtesy of Always Well Within]
Sandra Pawula, author of Always Well Within wrote a wonderful article today about the power of positivity, and the impact optimism and consciously practicing positivity can have on your life, your emotions, your relationships, your health and your happiness. Sandra offers so many wonderful links, quotes, and inspirational words, that I had to share her post for others to read. Her blog is truly wonderful, and one I highly recommend visiting frequently. Enjoy!
Weekly Gratitude: The More You Recognize the Beautiful Things in Life, the Less You'll Worry About the Ugly.
"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."
- Thornton Wilder
In the mist of my panic over the major changes beginning in my life today, I’ve realized that I’m spending a lot more time panicking, looking at my crazy schedule, complaining, and feeling overwhelmed, than I am being thankful that I am even able to actively participate in these changes.
The Experiences That Don't Come Around Everyday Should Be Cherished
This post is a bit atypical I suppose, but I felt it was actually more relevant than not. Almost a year ago, I took a trip to Thailand with my friend Gina that was nothing short of amazing. We traveled through Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Phi Phi, Krabi, and Phanang Bay. Thailand was simply amazing in so many ways. It was a trip that I desperately NEEDED at the time. I was working far too much, juggling a course load that was far more difficult than I had ever imagined, and I was completely and totally burnt out. This trip was a great refresher; the much needed relaxation that helped me get back to reality and a hold of my life again.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Happy Birthday to My Sister Jessica: The Epitome of Unconditional Love, and Living With an Open Heart.
One of the most important people in my life is my older sister Jessica. Jessica was born with Down Syndrome and today is her 28th birthday. It’s hard to believe she is that old; she’s not even five feet tall, and still looks like a kid. She still acts like a kid actually, which is one of the wonderful things about Jessica. She is easily pleased, almost always happy, and see’s life through an endlessly positive lens.
Changing Requires a Paradigm Shift. No one said it was going to be easy!
Kurt Lewin developed the Change Theory that is today, the epitome of change models. Lewin is also regarded as the founder of Social Psychology and contributed vastly to the field. On the most basic level, Change Theory describes the process of change that occurs in humans, society, organizations, etc., as conscious and in three phases:
(1) Unfreezing Stage: The stage where a person becomes cognizant that change is needed and reflects on ways to change.
(2) Moving to a New Level or Change Stage: This stage is a process of change; changes in thoughts, feelings, behavior, or all three. This stage is often liberating and the belief sets in that the new way is better than the old way.
(3) Refreezing Stage: This stage involves establishing the change as a new habit or process. It becomes the norm.
Any process where significant changes occur can be emotionally, spiritually, and mentally difficult. But these paradigm shifts are a part of life. Be patient with yourself during these times and embrace the process with an open heart. A Thousand Shades of Gray provides some advantageous reminders to help you do just that.
______________________ ______________________ ______________________
A Thousand Shades of Gray
-"Love is a thousand shades of gray, and we know / There’s not a safe or certain way to go" ~~Tina Dico
Three Truths and One Wish
Posted by jillsalahub in Awareness, Basic Goodness, Change, Habits,Letting Go, Life Rehab, Love, Three Truths and One WishI am undergoing a paradigm shift. It is difficult, scary, and slow, but necessary. As I “live into” this change, there are some things I am discovering, finding to be true.
- Photo from A Thousand Shades of Gray
2. Truth: Your intellectual understanding of the new paradigm will happen before you are able to fully embody it. You know, but find yourself still acting in those old ways. You move through your habitual patterns and ways of being, watching them with a new awareness, but still stuck in them. It’s tempting in this in-between to think it would be easier to go back to ignorance, to wish for that blindness, to see it as a sort of bliss, but there’s nothing there for you anymore. Once you see a new way, a better, more sane way, you can’t unsee it.
3. Truth: “Love is always in the room with you.” You’ve got this. It’s so certain, it’s as if it’s already happened. You don’t need to be afraid of freaking out or falling apart. The things you are afraid of either won’t happen or won’t be nearly as bad as you’d imagined. You can soften, surrender, let go, relax. Allow yourself stillness, silence, solitude, and space. Shine your light, sink into and manifest your truest self, embody supreme confidence.
One wish: If you want to shift your paradigm, may it go quickly and without obstacle. If you are lost in a fog of confusion, about yourself and the world, or in the midst of change, may you awaken to the light of your true nature. May you know your basic goodness, your innate wisdom and compassion and strength. May we all soften and relax and maintain good cheer, no matter where we are on our path.
*READ THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE BY JILLSALAHUB HERE: http://thousandshadesofgray.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/three-truths-and-one-wish-20/
What Are The Consequences of NOT Moving Toward The Unknown?
Even if we can’t physically see it, everything in this world is constantly changing one way or another. Everything. Some of us embrace change, and choose to move toward unfamiliar grounds, while others try desperately to hold onto familiarity, -to comfort. What is it that makes one person fearful of the unknown, and the other excited? Is it nurture? Is it biology? Although I have not sought out research on this topic, I’m willing to bet it’s a combination of both.
I recently reread a silly book I was given years ago by my cousin and came across an old fable on the topic:
Can You Ask For Anything More Than Sunshine??
It's SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY in Minnesota!! It's March and it's 61 degrees outside. In Minnesota! Crazy, but I'm going to take it. There is nothing I like more than sunshine; how it heats up my body, how it glimmers through the sky and onto everything around me. My whole world seems better when the sun is out. I see things more clearly, and feel much more balanced. This makes Minnesota winters difficult, and I honestly despise them, but I will not complain this year. This year was wonderful!
You Are What You Think! Think Happy to BE Happy!
Choose Happiness!
Each day, roughly 60,000 thoughts will cross your mind. What are you thinking about? Are your thoughts positive or are they negative? Do you feel happy most days or sad? Of these 60,000 thoughts, it’s up to you, to make sure that 59,999 of them are not wasted on negative, self-defeating thoughts.
We’ve all heard that you are what you eat, right? But what about You are what You think? Every thought you have creates a physiological response in the body.
The Perils of Being a Perfectionist
Almost everyone wish they could change something about themselves, or their lives at some point. It’s normal I supposed to not be completely satisfied. Some of us are perhaps more satisfied than others. But what happens when we’re only satisfied with perfection?
If I had to use one word to sum up my most prominent thought the last few weeks it would be: Perfectionism. In fact, I would say, if I had a stocker, it would be Perfectionism. It just won’t get away from me. I’ve been a self-proclaimed perfectionist for years, and frankly, I think I liked it; Perfectionism was a friend of sorts. But over the last year, I’ve become aware of just how annoying, and clinging, and rigid, and judgmental, and selfish, and cruel this friend really is. Perfectionism is a total Bitch!
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
A few months back I came across this post on Create Your Great Life. The author, DeAnna had reblogged it from Marc and Angel Hack Life, and now I'm doing the same.
Originally, when I had hoped to start this blog closer to the New Year, and was busy scribbling down my New Year’s resolutions, I wanted to share this post as others were likely doing the same. But, life got in the way, things got delayed, and now it's March. I'm posting it now, because as I approach finals, life is quickly getting the best of me, and I'm yearning for that New Year, New You feeling. Even though it's not New Year's there's really no wrong time reflect on life, make a conscious effort to stop doing the things that makes us feel like shit, and start living the life we want.
Vulnerability is a Bitch...But it's Invaluable to Living an Authentic Life!
When you think about what it takes to be strong, honest, courageous and authentic, you may or may not include vulnerable to your list. In fact, synonyms of vulnerability include: defenseless, sucker, susceptible, unsafe, weak, and in danger. Quite the contrary to anything strong and courageous!
I’m not even going to try to lie and say that now that I have my first post out there, and my biggest hurdle is behind me, that I no longer feel vulnerable. I most certainly do, -and I feel susceptible and exposed too! But that was sort of the point now wasn’t it?
As humans, we thrive through honest, vulnerable, trusting connections to others. We are born vulnerable to everything around us. If we experience love, tenderness, physical and emotional connections and safety, we grow up to be healthy, happy, functioning adults (well, most of us). Vulnerability is essential to human existence. Yet, so many of us fight it. We fight, because
What is...With an Open Heart?
What is …With an Open Heart? Well, it’s my best attempt at making a change in my life and opening myself, and my heart to the world. There are so many things I could try and say to explain this little blog, and the reason why I’m started it, but every time I try, I struggle to find the words. So let me just start by explaining my feelings leading up to this blog.
Feelings: I’m afraid of them!!
I’ve been running from them for nearly eight years. At first, this was easy, and made life a hell of a lot easier. How do you feel? Fine. Did that bother you? I couldn’t care less. I basically just shut down. I turned off my feelings and stopped caring.
Or I believed I stopped caring and feeling. As you can imagine, this eventually backfired; over the years my repressed feelings manifested into other problems. My anxiety increased, my fear of rejection increased, my need to be perfect got the best of me, my judgment of others often made me a mean person, my relationships suffered because I refused to be open, honest, and intimate with others, and I missed out on a lot of great opportunities. In the end, I closed myself off to the world in order to keep myself from hurting and from feeling negative, difficult emotions. However, what I really did was close myself off from amazing experiences and feeling some of the most amazing feelings.
Lets fast forward a little bit…
About a year and a half ago, I signed up for, Introspective and Personal Growth Seminar; one of my required counseling courses for grad school. In a nutshell, this class was devoted to self-awareness, and recognizing our “unfinished business”. That is, the unconscious, repressed crap we as individuals harbor inside. Dealing with these emotions is imperative to being an effective therapist. It is also what we do as clinicians to help others (it’s really all about self-awareness). So here I am, reading hours a day about how important it is to be self-aware and to take care of my issues prior working as a therapist, and I’m doing exactly the opposite in my life! I honestly knew for at least six months, that I needed to make a major change in my life, but this course opened my mind and my self-awareness in ways I had never explored previously. I tried really hard to open myself up to the world and to others, but I still struggled. I spent the next year increasing my self-awareness, and being very introspective. What I didn’t do was speak about any of it. I still kept everything in. I recognized my feelings, and understood why they existed, but I only gave myself minutes to sit in them. What can I say, they made me so uncomfortable!
Can you guess what happened next? Yup, that’s right, I eventually thought I was about to have a nervous breakdown! I found myself incredibly emotional –about everything! I felt like I needed to run away from my life and I couldn’t make sense of anything anymore. I was stressed beyond belief, wasn’t sleeping, I was very anxious, and felt incredibly incongruent in my life and in my feelings. It was time for some MAJOR CHANGES!
Today, this blog is an overt attempt to be open, honest, and true to myself. Sure, I don’t need a blog to start living with a more open heart. However, being this open, and this honest terrifies me; and so, facing this fear is an important step forward.
I hope this blog can be a place of happiness, small pleasures, positivity, honesty and intention. I’ll write about personal experiences that have opened my heart, to interesting things that have sparked my curiosity and passion for life, to empirically validated research about self-awareness, happiness, and the power of positive thought (I mean, after all, I am a nerdy grad student), and everything in between. If you like it –awesome! If you don’t, there are plenty of other blogs for you out there.
I have spent most of my life following my head. This year, I’m following my heart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)